Prior to turning 30, I was constantly in an anxious state afraid that I was on the road to no where, unaware of my purpose in life. As if on queue, a series of events occurred and a more than a year later, I have finally reached a level of understanding. It seems that after doing a lot of what I don't want to do, and being in places I don't want to be, I have finally managed to stand up to my inner avoidance and declare war. Funny thing is that I read somewhere that a Buddhist hell involves dreams of epic battles that doesn't seem winnable. Since middle school those dreams have plagued my mind, and I could never determine what side I was on. Perhaps in my previous life I was stoic to my surroundings, and died regretting achievement of my personal pursuit. Now I seem to live as if any day I will die, refusing to survive and only live. Just about a week ago, I was in stress mode when I had to list the places I've lived and worked within ...
Life is too simple, to be played so hard.