Cheeky Chatty

This weekend a man 12 years my senior and newly divorced told me that he needs to learn from me.  For years he has been use to the presence and affection of his wife, and can't stand being without it.  Previous in the day, he asked if I have ever spent Thanksgiving alone, and I told him yes and all other holidays as well.  Later he asked when was my birthday, and I told him that it was last month and I spent the weekend here with his sister (I didn't feel the need to mention that it was my birthday).  Barb expressed how she forgot and felt bad.  I told them that it was fine, as I've never really celebrated my birthday as an adult. Suddenly I was forced to realize my life, in which I expressed the following to John.  As a child I never considered myself a people person and relished in being alone.  I remember being in the first grade imagining that I was an astronaut in a spaceship all alone exploring the galaxy.  Looking through the window of m...

Pulsating...reverberating, into a spot of where something use to be. Removed by the thought of skewered reality. It use to beat out blood entrenched with love. Until it sickened itself and gave completely up. Misused and overworked for people not there. The heart can give up after so much wear and tear.     

I get slightly irritated when something major happens for a black person, and then people post things like "we" won.  What's with the division talk?  Divided enough as we are, how is it winning?  Will I get a check in the mail for a black person breaking a barrier?  I have yet to receive one.  What people here in America fail to realize is that we are one nation.  Other countries do not identify us as the United States of Different Races, but as the United States of America.  I have yet to read a BBC article outlining the U.S. news by race.  Do they do that in South Africa? What we have to realize is that it is up us to ourselves to build up each other.  I can't live comfortably knowing a friend of mine is having hard times.  I will offer help and advice, and if they choose to take it...so be it.  Also, people here need to realize the resources and opportunities we have and take advantage of them.  It's so easy fo...

My head is in the clouds My heart is wondering aimlessly My soul is stuck in time travel My words are bouncing everywhere from here to there but not out. I try to pull and mold myself back to whole, but pieces continue to fall everywhere I try to use adhesive, but nothing sticks I try to envision myself as one, but I continue to see orbits I let alone the parts of me that are all over the place For whatever reason they came apart, they will regroup again And I will again be one and balanced.

Prior to turning 30, I was constantly in an anxious state afraid that I was on the road to no where, unaware of my purpose in life.  As if on queue, a series of events occurred and a more than a year later, I have finally reached a level of understanding.  It seems that after doing a lot of what I don't want to do, and being in places I don't want to be, I have finally managed to stand up to my inner avoidance and declare war.  Funny thing is that I read somewhere that a Buddhist hell involves dreams of epic battles that doesn't seem winnable.  Since middle school those dreams have plagued my mind, and I could never determine what side I was on.  Perhaps in my previous life I was stoic to my surroundings, and died regretting achievement of my personal pursuit.  Now I seem to live as if any day I will die, refusing to survive and only live. Just about a week ago, I was in stress mode when I had to list the places I've lived and worked within ...

My soul went on a journey, leaving me in an anxious state.   Searching for a cause, which was calling out so great. Traveling back through time, and then forward through space, until it finally paused upon a found mind, with a surprisingly familiar face. Is this my true love that cannot be?  Calling me from his mind, in a room apart from his family. My body became calm, and I fell asleep...leaving the souls together for a little while...momentairly.